2014, a retrospective – peaking

i have this favorite genre of questions, which are “seemingly innocuous but deeply personal,” with the question that started them all, “when do you think you peaked in life?” it’s a great question, but as to why it is is a topic for another entry.

before 2014, for when my life peaked, i probably would have chosen 2006, my sophomore and junior years of college.  i had just met bristin, and i was overwhelmed by love for my friends (brijigrestaja <3), i was exploring this whole new side of me, between getting my first boyfriend and my passion and energy for dance marathon and successfully getting an RA position, all things i would have never pictured myself doing in a million years.  i was doing well in school and, though i didn’t know what i wanted to do after school, the world seemed like it was full of possibilities.

subsequent years were less enjoyable or less life-fulfilling for various reasons… imperfect job or friend status or dating/relationship difficulties or confusion or whatever.

but 2014 was really great!!!  i’m in a job that i generally enjoy that i could see myself staying with.  i have a boyfriend that i love incredibly and we have too much fun together.  i developed a really deep friendship with mason and also met some really great new friends, specifically, sean, josh, and colleen.  i had generally good health and successful passings of actuarial exams.  a lot of fun events.  anyway, i would say that 2014’s theme was peaking–a great amount of satisfaction and accomplishment and fun.  but, as they say, what goes up must come down.

one of my things i tried out in 2014 was that i would rate each day out of 10.  below is a distribution of my results! (5=a neutral day, 10=one of the best days of my life)

2014 day distribution

a couple things to note:

i realized that it can be difficult to reconcile when i SHOULD rate a day very highly and i have pressure and expectations to view the day very highly (EDC?) and really spontaneous days that happen to be awesome.   like, this list tends to pick up a lot more ordinary events and can drop bucket list items.

the “score of the day” also suffers from some law of averages that really great moments from a day can be cancelled out by really bad moments of the day.  in which case that day wouldn’t be that notable?  when it should be REALLY notable for two reasons.

2015 is already shaping up to be a much worse year.  my friendships are basically getting wiped out–mason is getting a job, which has meant much less time and availability to do things together.  sean and colleen are both leaving/left my company, so i see them much less regularly.  and my relationship with josh perhaps burned too brightly in the beginning.  job wise, the attainment of my FSA has been great but emptiness inducing in a way–not really sure how to harness extracurricular energy or how to best use/be productive with my spare time.  and i think the stability of a 3 year relationship with daniel and 1 year of living together has made keeping the relationship new and fresh difficult.  like 2015 is almost half over, and i’m pretty sure i’ve had <50% 8.5+ days that i had last year at this time.

it’s weird reading about fights after the fact.  i remember how passionate i felt at the time, but they also feel so insignificant in retrospect.  maybe i will do an entry listing all the fights we had, lol.


  • 4/12 – beatbox with josh, jon, mason
  • 6/28 – spectacularly beautiful and fun wedding with one of daniel’s former coworkers
  • 6/29 – wine tasting, goofing off in napa, and french laundry
  • 7/12 – spontaneous sunday adventure to alice’s and half moon bay ritz carlton and shell collecting
  • 9/21 – hangout day with mason and coherence and mac n cheese round 1

reasons why i would have

  • fights with daniel (~40%)
  • sick/feeling crappy (~30%)
  • annoying/irritability by circumstances/friends (~30%)

days exceeding or equal to 8.5/10: loosely defined as days where i felt really satisfied and the day was memorable and special.

  • 1/10 – passed actuary test
  • 2/8 – meeting of kyle/jesse/josh and mason/wayne/jon officially
  • 2/9 – fried polenta, hottubbing, and prisoners
  • 2/15 – dillon, jordan, dan, and bear at mezzanine
  • 2/21 – paint nite with coworkers
  • 2/23 – farewell house dinner at commercial with zak hazen
  • 2/26 – run club in the rain followed by hottubbing
  • 3/14 – lunch with angeles/kathy/sid and hh/mama ji’s with jyoti and boaz
  • 4/8 – david’s funemployment party and cafe dancing with john
  • 4/26 – DASH6 lemonade puzzles with jon, brian, rob
  • 5/3 – dinner at angeles’s oakland place with jyoti/boaz and alicia/her lawyer date
  • 5/11 – nice ordinary day of climbing, friends, great tv, good food
  • 5/14 – daniel being charming, great tv, and run club
  • 5/17 – jon’s housewarming on the floor
  • 6/3 – banh mi, josh, and wc cheesecake with rachel
  • 6/7 – sound factory with bear and mason with prepartying
  • 6/12 – college reunion, starcraft, cosmos finale
  • 6/14 – 22 jump street, taco bell/kfc dinner, daniel getting into solar max 2
  • 6/16 – game night at bear’s, where daniel and i each won a game of 7 wonders
  • 6/20 – EDC with trap and the crew incl jon, justin, mason
  • 6/28 – boozy hh and red jade with josh, jason, regulars
  • 7/5 – prepartying and beaux to dj haute toddy
  • 7/13 – kome birthday dinner!
  • 7/19 – dj haute toddy at qbar with jesse’s friends
  • 8/2 – santa cruz camping trip with KJJ and wayson and sean and brian and jon
  • 8/9 – preparty at patrick’s and bootie with colleen and angeles and others
  • 8/15 – never neverland at the armory with brian, jon, ravi
  • 8/26 – spontaneous state bird provisions with dallas and colleen and the magnum
  • 8/30 – meeting up with ravi and dancing at beaux
  • 9/1 – unboxlove frisbee golf wagers and outerlands
  • 9/2 – gogi time test celebration with coworkers!!
  • 9/9 – a really fun, advanced dance class to jeremih
  • 9/12 – fun work hh and fun castro hh
  • 9/13 – mr. s with josh and harness shopping and beaux dancing with ravi
  • 9/20 – ryan’s wedding and folsom
  • 10/8 – bali, danshui, biking, wine in taiwan with daniel
  • 11/1 – hangout day with mason and lobster mac n cheese and sunshine
  • 11/16 – helping josh move and unikitty costuming and lego party late night chat
  • 11/23 – trap city at f8 and extreme dance chemistry with random girl
  • 11/29 – yosemite tent disaster and hike and campfire drinking and pizza
  • 11/30 – serial and daniel birthday kome
  • 12/18 – mason phd celebration at umami burger and mission chinese and black mirror
  • 12/20 – atl gay scene and kimball house with anthony and mom’s dumplings
  • 12/31 – sean’s NYE party and colossus with daniel after

2014 in numbers

  • dancing – 21x
  • happy hour – 22x
  • glg – 22x

TV (bolded are favorites)

  • sherlock
  • happy endings
  • enlisted
  • chuck
  • blacklist
  • elementary
  • house of cards
  • survivor
  • helix
  • hannibal
  • looking
  • the Americans
  • orphan black
  • cosmos
  • the challenge (battle of the ex’s 2)
  • veep
  • orange is the new black
  • fargo
  • the comeback
  • you’re the worst
  • so you think you can dance
  • leftovers
  • bates motel
  • bojack horseman
  • silicon valley
  • transparent
  • happy valley


  • prisoners
  • lego movie
  • veronica mars
  • how to train a dragon
  • neighbors
  • cloverfield
  • 22 jump street
  • snowpiercer
  • edge of tomorrow
  • guardians of the galaxy
  • divergent
  • coherence
  • wolf of wall street
  • sunshine
  • American hustle
  • gone girl
  • maze runner
  • grand budapest hotel
  • interstellar
  • mr nobody
  • theory of everything


  • atlanta (jan 2014)
  • pinnacles (may 2014)
  • vegas/edc (june 2014)
  • yosemite w/ family (july 2014)
  • santa cruz beach camping (aug 2014)
  • taiwan (oct 2014)
  • yosemite with wayson/jon (nov 2014)
  • atlanta (dec 2014)

new friends

  • ravi
  • jesse/kyle
  • josh
  • sidney
  • sean h
  • andrew h


  • adventure capitalist, civclicker, and tons of other clicking games
  • diablo 3
  • hanabi


  • moved out of commercial (feb 2014)
  • told mom about daniel (summer 2014)

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