life dashboard – july 2012

RETROSPECTIVELY———————————————————————

OVERALL

the last 6 months have, overall, treated me well, and i feel very thankful.  at some point, things weren’t great, but things have generally fallen into place.  obviously happy that destiny set me up with daniel.  the gay potential friends of olden days have been replaced by gay friends who actually like me and want to be my friend, fuck this begging people to be my friend business.  and no running injuries/good race times!  finally, re: adrift, a quote that i found solace in that i should have posted with the original entry: “not everyone who wanders is lost.”

NOTABLES (would not be possible without ohlife)

running into angeles on airbart, jared at bootie, firespinning in gg park, hip hop/drinks with s/logan the bartender, pearls with danny, MEETING JIMMY, MTV’S THE CHALLENGE (rivals), kong’s kingdom rush, climbing/tod/flame and flash, jigsaw puzzle comp with stace et al, interim assessment/final assessment completion, ZUNDERFURY IMPOSSIBLE BADGE, FRESH/etd pop/friends with kids/muni goodbyes with jerome, meeting driven james doppleganger, HOMELAND, sherlock season 2 finale, my own dinner party ft dave and seeing chronicle, weird night with ben and a hot plate, PRE-EAT ATTEMPT AT CANCUN WITH ETAN only to be yelled at angeles for being late when she was at the wrong restaurant, paying $20 to get a guy’s contact info at gay run club, hash house harriers + chow with angeles/mitch, HAPPY ENDINGS, hunger games hysteria, climbing progress/discovering yoga and dave, angeles day date to south sf and argentine steak, nir randomness/aggressiveness, wyatt friendship, health forum w/ sean et al, goodbye with sam, jason ridiculousness, chris c and his etta james diva avatar and nighthawks and equinox, NIGHT OUT IN CHINATOWN including li-po, basement karaoke, strangers, and EZ5, getting 14.5 reps in LIAG, 16 LAPS IN DIVIS UP OR SHUT UP, doing well in my half marathon/b2b, patrick/naoko’s housewarming, real escape game/MAKE A NEW MOON, angeles’s bday partybus, CABIN IN THE WOODS, GAYMING WITH DAVE, circus school/aerial skills, DAY TRIP TO PALO ALTO TO SEE ETAN, climbing with jon/discovery of south pacific brewing co, sy/daniel juggling, maleminded “no hetero” bracelet, lululemon run club, frienaissance/3 little delhi entrees with mark, CHEESECAKE FACTORY WITH ANGELES/DANIEL, reverie by first state ft sarah howells/ON A GOOD DAY BY ABOVE AND BEYOND AT EDC, getting jack in the box with daniel/jon after fresh, DANCING TO CALL ME MAYBE/WE FOUND LOVE MASHUP AT BOOTIE WITH GINA, DANIELLLL (epic long date, symphony, house party, brunch/speeding through foothills). 

SPHERE BY SPHERE (older life dashboards)

evaluating how well i’ve met the goals of dashboards past:

relationship:

• Continue to be introspective and try to figure out what you want what does this even mean, james!?  how did this get past the goal setting administrators?!  okay, tongue in cheek.  i better understood why certain things didn’t work out and definitely developed a much stronger, specific view of what i wanted in an SO.  that said, even starting to date daniel, i was unsure still whether i was ready for a serious relationship, but i guess that’s a moot point.
• Take things as they come and not to overcomplicate fuzzzzzy goal, but definitely took things in stride (thinking of jason, ian, sam s, jerome, wyatt).  generally didn’t get too beat up over anyone/thing.
• Get a bro? lol. sort of got to date a bro.  it was pretty awesome (tongue in cheek), though not life changing.  can definitely check that box and not be eternally curious/wanting.

health:

• 10+ mile runs every 2 weeks this definitely didn’t happen.  i think i did about 7 long runs in the first half of 2012.  whoops.  ankle injury!? 
• 3 days of paleo/week i went sort of crazy with this.  i tongue in cheek would reference “weekday paleo, which is paleo only on weekdays unless there’s free food or i’m eating with other people”.  but yes, cooked like a mother (hah).  it was very time intensive, i honestly don’t know if this is the best option, at least from a time/money perspective.  no significant weight loss.  LOTS OF SPINACH.
• max 1 day of binge drinking/week generally dialed back the alcohol consumption.  i think there were a few exceptions, but did a good job. 
• do the rock climbing/circus school groupons yes!  zach to climbing and circus.  twas fun. 
• schedule HBFS #2 SCHEDULEDDDD.  8/12.  it’s going to be awesome.  and hunger games themed.  !!!!!!!!!!!!

friendship:

• Quality over quantity. Reduce number of people I’m pursuing. this goal ended up being sort of irrelevant because some of the people who i picked to pursue in a higher-quality fashion issued me a cease and desist.  so i went back to the drawing board and was pretty aggressive with the approaching. 

job:

• Mid-term assessment by February, finish Modules by April. hah!  hahahahahaha… i actually did finish the midterm assessment by february, but then was majorly burned out.  i finished my final assessment by june, two months later than expected.  BUT STILL BEFORE THE NEXT DASHBOARD.  that’s not bad, right? 
• Less multitasking at work. ugh.  only if you count tumblring as multitasking.

family:

• Call mom at least once every two days. didn’t do a very good job with this. 

 

PROSPECTIVELY———————————————————————

OVERALL

i really want to not fuck up daniel. having daniel/being satisfied with that gives me the ability to focus a lot more on job stuff. i really have been neglecting that part of my life for awhile, and something that i want to double down on.  split attention is difficult, blah blah. the workout drum beats onward.

SPHERE BY SPHERE

where i determine what is important in my life, evaluate my performance/satisfaction in those spheres (graded out of 4), and set new goals for those items going forward.  NOT VERY QUANTIFIABLE GOALS SORRY MICHAEL

relationship (30%; ♦♦♦♦)

What’s happening: I finally hit my stride with the gay scene; became comfortable and built the confidence and network that I was seeking. Went to gay climbing/running. The long story arc was Jerome, which began with an unforgettable night at Fresh and two non-date dates (NDD’s) and ended with drama and fizzling. Sexual liberation. Met Andrew G, life goal, check. Met Daniel, who I feel impossibly strongly about. BF in 2.5 weeks; EDC in 5.
Goals: A not-embarrassing birthday celebration. Laying groundwork for serious relationship, including openness, solution-oriented attitudes. Proving that I am worth keeping. No crazy-emotions. No expectations. Stay fresh.

health (25%; ♦♦♦♦)

What’s happening: My 2012 workout routine shifted from running/boot camp/lifting to climbing/running/yoga. Made quick progress but have plateaued in climbing (V2/V3 and 5.10C/D level). Despite not doing crazy running training, set times that I would be happy with as a life record (1:35 for a half; 53 min for B2B). Happy with look.
Goals: Marathon completion (under 4 hrs would be nice). TMT 1x-2x/week. Exercise 4x/week. V3/V4 level and 5.11B without falling. Start eating healthier. Fried food max 2x/week. 

friendship (15%; ♦♦♦♦)

What’s happening: My attempts to pursue various people ended poorly. However, I have since settled a group of 1x/week that I am really happy with (Tri, Jon, Angeles, Patrick). I had concerns about the changing dynamic with Angeles but have come to the realization that it is irrevocably changing, not necessarily for the worse.
Goals: Continue to devote time to friends despite relationship. Angeles and (Jon/Tri) 1x/week.

job (15%; ♦♦)

What’s happening: Internal transfer to pension, which will be more interesting but less good from a career development POV. Finally took the last test required to get my ASA.
Goals: Use free time to learn and be proactive about professional dev. Self-study data-mining languages.

home life (10%; ♦♦♦♦)

What’s happening: Margaret was a welcome addition to the house, tipping the house into the dorm feel that I crave. Night out in Chinatown and house dinners have been standouts. A lot of fun with Mars, Zach, and Margaret.
Goals: Spend more time with housemates. At least 1x/month.

family (5%; ♦♦)

What’s happening: Mom isn’t doing great, but not sure what I can do about it.
Goals: Call home 3x/week.

HAPPINESS FACTORS

three common factors to most social psychologists’ requirements for happiness:

pleasure (♦♦♦♦), driven by: Relationship (50%), Friendship (30%), Health (20%)

i think finding a boyfriend/gay culture/meeting new people/doing gay things/going to gay parties was pretty fucking fun.  definitely did a lot of fun things with friends, exercise is also fun.

purpose (♦♦), driven by: Relationship (30%), Health (20%)

some lack of purpose in my life.  i think a significant other and striving toward ambitious health goals are a part of it, but they can be a little lacking.  my job really needs to pick up the slack; i hope to find more purpose out of it.  don’t really feel the larger direction. 

engagement (♦♦♦♦), driven by: Relationship (50%), Health (40%), Friendship (10%)

i can get completely absorbed in gay things/relationship/exercise stuff.  and friend stuff.  but that feeling of 100% engagement happens most often with gay people/exercising.  man, so excited for harder better faster stronger. 

FRIEND INVENTORY

(sorry if i’m missing anyone, as always)

ALL GAY EXCEPT FOR ANGELES, SORRY STRAIGHT WORLD/LESBIANS