let february 8, 2012 be recognized for the momentous occasion of james s chu having won not only (1) 10 impossible badges on kongregate, but (2) achieving perhaps the first impossible badge that he ever set eyes on that has been the driving force in his life, motivating him to reach the pinnacle of mental acuity, cat-like reflexes, and strategy optimization.
that is right. i, james chu, have gotten the zunderfury impossible badge, completing all 18 in-game feats, and demonstrating once and for all my gamer (gaymer?) and arena shooter prowess for all that came before and after me. (looking at you, dave)
this is the game that has prompted numerous online dating questions and, yes, the namesake of this blog that YOU ARE READING RIGHT NOW.
i would like to recognize ALAN for being AN ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE GAMER FRIEND and once promising me that he would drive me down to late nite at stanford should i get the impossible badge and keeping me on my toes and in general encouraging me to reach my full potential within gaming (AND BY EXTENSION, LIFE).
the 10 impossible badges in reverse chronological order
10) ZUNDERFURY 2/8/12 (FOUR YEARS less 14 days to go from easiest badge in the game to hardest badge in the game) – fast paced arena shooter. gameplay has a shocking amount of depth. this game obviously means a lot to me.
9) focus 11/22/11 (4 days) – action platformer. getting the badge actually involves an incredible amount of luck, a scary amount of willingness to deal with frustration, and really, really fast reflexes. i will remember my awesome cousin john (who challenged me to glufo) and i making a pact that we would get this badge over his trip in atlanta.
8) bubble tanks tower defense 2/8/10 (30 days) – tower defense. i still remember two levels that you have to just be REALLY LUCKY with how the flight wave was positioned. played those two levels a lot. the last couple levels are doable if you use a walkthrough. juggling is laughably easy in this.
7) tower of greed 12/13/09 (25 days) – action platformer. clever premise, also requires a bit of masochism, but the universe of patterns is actually fairly limited. once you learn them, this badge is actually totally doable.
6) the space game: missions 8/4/09 (5 days) – real time strategy. i remember playing this game with chris. with the exception of one or two levels, the badge is actually fairly doable.
5) 99 bricks 11/15/08 (<1 day) – stacking. i actually am not sure how i did this one; replaying it after the fact was really difficult and incredibly frustrating.
4) meat boy 10/26/08 (1 day) – action platformer. some of the levels are a bit annoying. i remember alan and i racing to get this badge. definitely requires a bit of that “touch”. and masochism.
3) amorphous 8/14/08 (40 days) – arena fighter. i actually think this is one of the best examples of a great flash game. it’s as easy as you want it to be, or as complex as you want it to be. i love the learn-as-you-go games. i actually ended up using a pretty basic hack to get the impossible badge. it is, otherwise, totally impossible and you have to rely on an absurdly low chance to face a boss (razor queen) that is basically unbeatable.
2) pandemic 2 8/3/08 (<1 day) – disease simulation/strategy. MADAGASCAR!!! just follow the walkthrough in the comments and play it a couple times until you get lucky with madagascar.
1) streamline 5/27/08 (<1 day) – avoidance/mouse movement. pattern recognition? catchy song. totally doable with some practice.
what [is] the hardest impossible badge
i say the hardest one is zunderfury