random slice of the internet – october 18, 2011

tis the season.  photos of people in a haunted house. source

6125239420_85871a4b06_z
that legitimately could have been me, stacey, and jim.  definitely one of my most memorable college experiences, going to a haunted house.  remember being SCARED OUT OF MY MIND and just bearhugging jim and screaming at the top of my lungs with my eyes closed.  hahaha.  don’t think I could quite survive this:

THAT LOOKS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  that is a great teaser video if there ever has been one.  spoilers are scant, but most of it is in a complete blackout.  where people stick things in your mouth (!?!?!?!).  by yourself the entire time.

tickets are also $50. 

okay, just read some reviews.  the hype is honestly out of control. 

YOU WILL SUFFER.
YOU WILL BE TORTURED.
YOU WILL BE FORCED TO DO THINGS THAT WILL MAKE YOU SICK.
YOU WILL SEE THINGS YOU WISH YOU NEVER SAW.
But as all final girls/guys do, you’re going to survive. It’s the most gratifying feeling you will ever get. Being a survivor of Blackout Haunted House is a graduation from your most dreaded fears be it sexual depravity, germ warfare, Abu Gharab torture, claustrophobia and the eerie quiet of pitch black darkness. Blackout has conjured up a class in each of these and the only way you actually FAIL is by screaming the word: SAFETY. And as far as I know, they’ve gotten a ton of failing students.

apparently not many people are able to get through the entire thing without quitting?!  fuck.  really excited about the walkthrough.  last year’s walkthrough here. getting in bed with people who are having sex?!

zachary quinto on coming out, jamey rodemeyer.  on how jamey’s suicide encouraged him to come out. 

when i found out that jamey rodemeyer killed himself – i felt deeply troubled.  but when i found out that jamey rodemeyer had made an it gets better video only months before taking his own life – i felt indescribable despair.  i also made an it gets better video last year – in the wake of the senseless and tragic gay teen suicides that were sweeping the nation at the time.  but in light of jamey’s death – it became clear to me in an instant that living a gay life without publicly acknowledging it – is simply not enough to make any significant contribution to the immense work that lies ahead on the road to complete equality.  our society needs to recognize the unstoppable momentum toward unequivocal civil equality for every gay lesbian bisexual and transgendered citizen of this country.  gay kids need to stop killing themselves because they are made to feel worthless by cruel and relentless bullying.  parents need to teach their children principles of respect and acceptance.  we are witnessing an enormous shift of collective consciousness throughout the world.  we are at the precipice of great transformation within our culture and government.  i believe in the power of intention to change the landscape of our society – and it is my intention to live an authentic life of compassion and integrity and action.  jamey rodemeyer’s life changed mine.  and while his death only makes me wish that i had done this sooner – i am eternally grateful to him for being the catalyst for change within me.  now i can only hope to serve as the same catalyst for even one other person in this world.  that – i believe – is all that we can ask of ourselves and of each other.
zq.

I will do a “what I believe is the ‘meaning of life’” post at some point, but a lot of it does surround that notion. 

zachary quinto’s blog

Sean-Maher_300

sean maher of firefly also comes out.  gotta be one of the hottest photos of him ever.  how does he look better as he ages!??!  fuck. 

cougartown.  really has no good place in this blog other than posting screencaps.  the finale was not super funny, but full of heart in a way that only cougartown can do it. 

vlcsnap-2011-09-25-21h36m16s191
this one scene totally captured the magic of hand holding.  I think it’s totally trivialized these days, but it is one of the more sensuous things a couple can do, I think.  top hand hold goes to jared, fuck!  second goes to pablo. 

vlcsnap-2011-09-25-21h36m45s56
as tends to be bobby cobb’s storylines these days, it’s about still being appreciated as a 3rd wheel and couples making an extra effort to incorporate him. 

premieres in january 2012, ugh.  sorry. 

blackboards in porn (safe for work, I think)

01

H2N2O2(HO-N=N-OH)
+
H4SIO4(SI(OH)4)
H2O + H2OSO4
H3PO3(HPO(OH2))
H2SO4 => SO4
H2OSO4 = H
Chemistry – A-level/undergraduate level
This is a frustratingly inconsistent approach to writing chemical formulae. On the one hand the teacher has gone to the trouble of also using structural formulae to improve clarity (eg H2N2O2could be nitramide, but the addition of HO-N=N-OH makes it clear that we are dealing with hyponitrous acid here), but then writes SI (sulphur iodine) instead of Si (silicon) in the formula for orthosilicic acid. This, combined with not using subscripts for many of the numbers, could lead to a great deal of confusion.
Whilst this lesson appears to be aimed at quite a high level, such elementary errors may affect comprehension.

5/10 – rather sloppy.

blackboards in porn

changing thoughts on marriage.

in-2008-just-over-half-of-people-over-the-age-of-18-were-married-compared-to-nearly-three-quarters-of-people-in-1960
fewer people are getting married.  and later.  (though that second stat isn’t in the chart)

with-a-change-in-views-about-marriage-comes-a-change-in-views-about-sex-more-americans-are-ok-with-premarital-sex-than-they-were-in-1969
this one I found really surprising.  because I didn’t know that such a strong shift in public opinion has happened in the last 40 years.  I always thought parents were just totally inconsistent and applying totally unfair double standards on kids, but… hey, they really didn’t believe in premarital sex.

source

THOUGHT CATALOG PICKS.  thought catalog, is, as victor says, incredibly dramatic.  maybe this is what I missed out on by not reading teen cosmo all those years.  but I really do believe that some of the pieces are really clever/fresh and hit close to home. 

re: advising your bro to ‘just go up and talk to her’.

Picture this: two dudes are at a bar, two dudes that are both relatively cool dudes, two agreeable dudes, two dudes that aren’t douchey and don’t use Axe Body Spray and are sufficiently self-aware and concerned with their own and others’ well-being and etc. One of these dudes notices two females at a table nearby and comments that he’s attracted to one of them, and (in jest) that, perhaps, if the conditions were right, he would consider having sex with her. Said dude is single and generally lonely, and his bro feels that this situation calls for some bro-therly advice. “Bro,” he says, laying a heavy hand on his dude’s shoulder and looking him squarely in the eyes. “Grow some balls man. Just go up and talk to her.” The single dude smiles, looks down, considers this for a moment, takes a sip of his beer, and feels alone in the world. “Nah, man… I can’t do it…”

I think this is a great article because it touches on a variety of subjects in a fresh way.  laundry list: bro culture, what bro culture really should be like, approaching people in bars and HOW FUCKING SCARY IT IS, how tough love is a lazy friend’s response, how to actually motivate people to do things they don’t want to do, how we often say things that are unintentionally mean, how IRL courting has changed/become foreign in an electronic age. 

12 reasons why it’s time to leave the party and go home.  not a great article, BUT THIS PART IS TOTALLY TRUE, I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO PUT THIS IN WORDS FOR THE LONGEST TIME

5) Your conversation has moved into “superficially deep” territory. This can occur for a number of reasons, but almost always manifests itself in a similar way: a few people asserting their opinions about broad, complicated topics in an overconfident and often reductive manner. Examples of these topics include “capitalism,” “love,” “language,” and “lack of confidence vs. ‘getting out there and just doing it.’” By the force of the participants’ convictions, and often because these conversations happen towards the ends of parties or during parties that are already not fun, “superficially deep” conversations tend to dominate the party area. Listening to these conversations evokes feelings of embarrassment and frustration and often a sort of visceral, almost paralyzing boredom. The urge to tell people to stop talking about this stuff, please, is strong. If you join the “superficially deep” conversation, whether in an effort to redirect it into lighter territory or to simply argue with someone, feelings of shame afterwards will increase. As soon as the “superficially deep” conversation begins, it is time to go home.

this is not a romantic comedy. truly believe romantic comedies have primed us for an unrealistic view of love/significant others.

why people fall out of love with each other. UGH read this and could not stop thinking about howl.  could.  not.  stop.  still one of the unanswered questions, I just want to corner him and ask him and shake him and get answers. 

I introduced you to my parents and they liked you, except my mom would sometimes involuntarily scowl at you during dinner. Sorry babe! I told my parents that you were important to me and that I was right on track to being loved and married and all that gross stuff. “Mom, Dad! I’ve been accepted into Somebody Loves You University. Can you believe it? They don’t just accept anybody!” And they let out a wan smile and passed the potatoes and everything was fine, I guess. But then somehow, things stopped being fine. Maybe it’s because I looked too long at my mother’s scowl, or because I don’t like to eat potatoes, or because your body started to feel slimy and foreign. I can’t honestly tell you. I just knew I could no longer love you.

the article ends with a “it happens!” attitude. don’t know if howl just didn’t tell me because he didn’t think I could handle it. 

you need to know that you broke my heart

I don’t think you understand how much you destroyed me. In bed, when I would see your body start to stiffen at my touch, I would pretend not to notice while laying there and wanting to disappear. And when you would start to call me less and less, I would still fall asleep with the phone by my bed in case you decided that you loved me again and wanted to talk. I don’t think you understand how pathetic you made me feel.

You weren’t supposed to know the extent of how badly you hurt me. It was a secret I hid quite well. Even when you broke up with me, I tried to display some semblance of control so I could show you that you did not win. What a lie. You won. You won for months. Every day, you would win and own my feelings. You had no clue.

YES IT’S TALKING ABOUT HOWL YOU GOT IT.  I guess a lot of these are just talking about closure.  or something. 

maleminded.tumblr

source

going out on a friday night can be depressing

I was invited to a house party in Williamsburg last Friday night by a good friend of mine and I actually decided to go. Normally I would’ve declined and said, “I’m sorry. I have a date with my incense burner.” but I’ve been feeling pretty low lately and whenever I’m in an emotional funk, I promise myself that I’ll say yes to every invitation offered to me. I’ll go to house parties, bars, openings, whatever. I do this because I have this misguided hope that I’ll maybe have the best night of my life and feel okay again. Maybe I’ll make out with someone who smells like whiskey on a couch in a room full of people, or maybe I’ll just find a new friend and have an amazing conversation over some lukewarm drinks. Whatever. The point is that it could change my life in some small way and I have to remind myself that it’s important to be an active participant rather than a casual observer. So, yes, I’ll go to the stupid house party with you on North 7th and Berry. Why not? It might save my life!

cannot say how many times I’ve been there.  forced myself to go out when my heart wasn’t in it, and had a miserable time.  not to say that I shouldn’t go out and it’s not helpful, but it definitely requires a lot of “you do what you gotta do” attitude. 

things to remember when you’re single.  got it; will keep in mind. 

5 metaphors for dating. in summary: (I think it’s quite clever)

  • teeth cleaning = chore, might have positive payoff
  • clearance shopping = sort through lots of crap to find what you want
  • job interview = subjected to intense scrutiny/judgment
  • diet = requires discipline and making healthy decisions
  • gambling addiction = masochistic, banking on impossible odds to fulfill fantasies

side note, but I have been looking for a term for this.  it’s like a simile, but it’s this really common syntax in stand up.  like “dating is like X, they both Y.” I wish I could come up with these on the fly. 

OKAY NOW THAT I LINE THESE UP SIDE BY SIDE THEY DO SEEM SUPER DRAMATIC.  they have fluff pieces too….

little people project.  really clever photosets. 

Fantastic Voyage 1a - blog

Fantastic Voyage 1b - blog

Fantastic Voyage 2 - blog

little people project. (courtesy laughing squid)

interview questions.  my two favorites:

[for a trading position] There 1,000 buckets, one of them contains poison, the rest of them are filled with water. They all look the same. If a pig drinks that poison, it will die within 30 minutes. What is the minimum number of pigs to you need to figure out which bucket contains the poison within one hour?

[for an ACTUARIAL ANALYST] A 22- or 23-year-old girl, who is getting a bachelor’s degree, is taking her 100-year-old grandmother for her driving test. What can you say about this family?

for what it’s worth, I would have no idea how to answer the second one.  embarrassing, don’t know why I was hired.

source

stalking.  sorry, these are sort of ridiculous stories that really showcase how creepy I am. 

stalking story #1. from a guy that howl mentioned, who I then stalked.   (except howl and I weren’t even dating at the time).  this guy is an incredibly built, beautiful asian guy with an equally beautiful white guy.  it was very much so like this:

maleminded.tumblr

(february 2011)

  • c: I didnt even know it was ur bday so soon. Hope all your birthday wishes come true..Xx
  • k: YEP! Big 3-1. *sigh* time goes so fast….
    My only birthday wish is that… oh wait I can’t speak it out loud right? Well let’s just say that it’s a very Altruistic wish about my current breakup. I hope it comes true too!
    Stop by [redacted] tonight if you want to do a Birthday shot with me (er, maybe a shot of water for you). Text me and I’ll put you on the list.
  • c: I am about to google what Altruistic means. lol.
  • k: LOL! Meaning not about me. My birthday wish is about my oh-so-recent-ex-boyfriend.
  • c: Things take time. Ye ill swing by later. Xx
  • k: cool. i’ll put you down for +1 in case you bring someone. text me if you want to bring more. See ya later!

(august 2011, on a photo of them as a couple, where someone complimented c)

  • k: aw shucks. thanks! he is a pretty little thang, aint he?
  • c: Your the pretty one. I miss you so much baby!!!!


giant birthday fortune cookie, and as much as I want to laugh at it and burn it and crumble it into a million pieces and feed it to pigeons, this is actually quite cute.

(inspiration that love can strike at any moment.  and things can move quickly in half a year.) 

stalking story #2. from a guy who asked for my number at bootie, and then things got weird when we tired to meet up.  but I think he was more interested in another guy at the time.  they just climbed mount fuji. 

10-3-2011 8-56-58 AM

(this was just the sweetest, most romantic image.  like a tree carving but way better. sorry. for the record, i did message him saying how cute the photo was and happy that he seemed happy.)

sean selections.  okay, probably more entertaining to me than you, but…..

on ideas for what I should print on my  US half bib:

Zerg Slayer
or
Stupid ——>
boom. done.
Really!??! —–>
James, James Chu?!?! (ed note: referencing when a higher up expressed disbelief that i was doing tough mudder and exclaimed ‘james?! james CHU?!?!?!’)

on mocking a friend who enjoys humblebrags

my jeans are so big, except for in the crotch area

on sean’s trip to the city

I came to the city on saturday night
[what!??!? thanks for not telling me, jerkface]
[we could have danced to mashers together!!!] (ed note: mashers are mash ups)
[what was the occasion?]
bro-slaps bday
we went to Cantina on Sutter between powell and mason
[you and broslap, huh]
[should i be getting jealous?]
you definitely should 
[should SM be getting jealous?] (ed note: SM is a guy who I’m in love with in another office, who sean jokingly rubs in the fact that he totally hits it off with)
no, different area code
*blushy face*

(for the record, sean is shockingly willing to play ball on the weirdest of topics.  glad he’s always fair game for jokes and plays along)

twitter selections.

TheIlluminati
TheIlluminati TheIlluminati by CoryMonteith
A polite enemy is just as difficult to discredit, as a rude friend is to protect.

Fred Stoller
Fred_Stoller Fred Stoller by JamesUrbaniak
Before Facebook, how did people brag about bookings, vacations, kids, and amazing revelations?

rob delaney
robdelaney rob delaney
I like a girl who can fuck up a buffet.

Alec Sulkin
thesulk Alec Sulkin
How many terrible mistakes can you make before you’re officially a bad person? It’s like 70, right?

rob delaney
robdelaney rob delaney
“Wow, I’d like to taste that guy’s penis. I better throw a rock at him.” – Homophobia

RainnWilson
rainnwilson RainnWilson
How come shipping magnates are the only magnates? Why not pancake, tricycle or apricot magnates?

rob delaney
robdelaney rob delaney
Whenever a friend diets successfully, I feel personally betrayed.

Dennis K. Berman
@dkbermanDennis K. Berman
#Kodak stock closes at all-time low. The employer of 19,000 is now worth $468m, or $330m less than 50-person, profitless Tumblr. $EK

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