dadt repeal date

I honestly didn’t even know DADT went into effect today (okay, gawker made a totally inappropriately but still fairly entertaining entry about it yesterday), and then brian moylan puts up this video:

gawker – gay soldier heartbreakingly comes out to his father on youtube

I saw the video this morning, and it sort of…. destroyed me, emotionally.  weird mix of feelings, again always great to experience during the workday.  trying to parse out the emotions:

coming out experience. fuck!  fuck!!!  the coming out story is the thread that connects every gay person in the history of the universe.  being closeted, breaking point, trying to figure out to tell your parents, that gutwrenching, incomparable feeling of vulnerability and shame, fallout/adjustment.  okay, I’m really not doing it justice, but suffice to say that it is a common bond and rite of passage that every gay person understands with and empathizes with, and seeing this video just made all of those emotions come rushing back to me, the fear, the excitement, the relief of getting it off your chest.  I don’t know, I was just reliving it, I just want to comfort him, to celebrate with him, to cheer him on and encourage him.  it really was heartbreaking and absolutely beautiful.  (this was mostly how I was feeling, why I felt so emotionally drained.)

same guy, but coming out to his friend.  also a very nice moment.  man.

monumental from a civil rights standpoint.  it is really exciting that this change is happening.  he mentions it in his other videos about why this is such a big deal.  the significance that these people who are sacrificing the same things that straight servicemembers are sacrificing, that they deserve the same right to talk about their significant others, to not hide that part of their lives, to not be ashamed of that part of their lives.  ugh, again, not doing this justice, sorry.

publicity stunt.  i… do think this is a bold move.  I mean, it definitely appeals to that voyeuristic, reality tv junky side of me.  to ambush his father on the phone, to know that him reacting homophobically could potentially have been broadcasted to the entire world?!  to have this dramatic reveal of his face/identity on 9/20/11?

i… do think that it’s a somewhat valid criticism, but brian moylan comments that this is a good kind of publicity.  getting a bajillion views of this video would make the world better.  getting people see the best way a conservative dad could react to their son coming out.  and he’s actually well spoken, fair, and seems like a really solid guy.  like if there’s anyone who should be going on the morning talk shows or jay leno or whatever, it should be him.

he’s pretty hot.  is this an elephant in the room?  the fact that he’s freaking beautiful, incredibly masculine, his southern accent is ridiculous, the fact that he’s so fucking vulnerable and all you want to do is be there and have his beautifully coiffed hair resting against your shoulder?!?!

AND HE POSTS PHOTOS LIKE THIS ON HIS TWITTER?!

asfc (1)

anyway.  glad I totally ruined this incredibly heartfelt, beautiful moment with this.  I really can’t help it.  I’m sure he wouldn’t have it any other way.  are you fucking kidding me?!

like… god.  okay, I do want to say that I hate myself for being so distracted by his good looks to really fully emotionally appreciate this.  like do I only find it emotionally compelling because of how hot he is?

like would this coming out video be as effective if the dude wasn’t super hot and super masc?  and all of the things that dude subscribes to are just videos of really hot dudes.

jealousy.  this is a weird one.  I don’t know, that he had so much bravery to do something like this?  that his dad reacted so fucking well to him coming out in this incredibly beautiful moment?  that he’s fucking beautiful and imagine all the beautiful guys who he’s slept with?  that he gets to experience the excitement and relief of being out?  that he has this epic, life-defining experience for his friends and family demonstrate how much he means to them, how they love him unconditionally?  that I would never be able to land a guy like him.

coming off the heels of tough mudder, which has put me in this temporary existential malaise.  from this adrenaline inducing, incredibly intense and challenging activity back to soul crushing corporate life.  with friends who… who knows what they’re thinking, lately just feeling overall quite friend-poor.  where I don’t feel like studying or doing jack shit productively.  where I’m single, and it bothers me, but I also am just so defeated about finding someone and sick of having my “heart broken” (used lightly).  wandering through life, not really sure what I want again, not really inspired to push myself to do anything, just wanting to surf and watch tv, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.  don’t care enough to sleep, don’t care enough to wake up.  scary moment.

other.

he mentions this article describing implementation of DADT by an out army person in this video (which is also really solid).  the article in my mind is … sort of boring, but I did really appreciate this line:

In the next few months, “don’t ask, don’t tell” will end, and when it does it will be exactly like Y2K. The day DADT ends, one gay servicemember will turn to a straight friend to tell him he’s gay and a discussion will happen for 10 minutes, until the straight servicemember realizes it’s a very boring conversation to have.

it is a really boring conversation, for the record.  for my straight friends, the coming out conversation reaction does not have to extend beyond 10 minutes.

really like this video as well

“i don’t think i act gay, i don’t think i act straight, i act like me”

in other news, dude also posted an incredible adele cover (at an impressive 1.6M views).  which, today, is his most viewed upload, but his coming out video will shatter that, without a doubt.

dude.  this cover is amazing.  I actually love this song now.

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