things you have to believe in life

i believe that i’m a realist when it comes to most things and generally try not to be excessively positive or excessively negative about anything.  odds are odds, let’s not exaggerate or discount them.  evidence/data based approach.

i think that ultimately would be the best way to live life, given a few exceptions.  that there are certain axioms that you have to believe in with blind faith.   one of which being, that you have to believe that life will get better.  that you will find someone to love.  who’s better than the last person you loved.  

i like to ask people when they peaked, and the answers are always interesting and revealing (the question both works on a “let’s me hear more facts about your life” level, but also shows how introspective/reflective they are and, most importantly, what they believe is really important or what defines success in their life.  sneaky). a common (albeit a little bit of a cop out answer) is that their life hasn’t peaked yet, that it will only get better with time.

sort of triggered because of two things that happened this morning that SHOULDN’T HAVE AFFECTED ME but got me quite down and had me pulling out my probability tables and reevaluating chances of meeting my LOML (love of my life; pronounced “low-mull”).  i mean really, the chance that i’ll honestly meet someone who i hit it off with, who i love more than x or y.  which is always a fun place to be in.  at work, especially.  BUT!  things will get better; things will work out.  live to fight another day.

whether or not it’s healthy to believe this is… up to you.  just be as realistic as possible as your emotional state can afford?  blind faith, ugh.  gross.

beating heart, falls apart
someday starts again
breaks you down, it’s like you’re 6 feet under the ground,
but you’re not, you’re alive
and you’ll love again,
even though it feels like the end.

ticking heart, falls apart
someday starts again
gears wind down, your resting pulse and its fluttering sounds will fade out,
but you’re alive.
you’ll love again,
even though it feels like the end.

i think i looped this song and just a dream (covered by sam tsui/christina grimmie) about a bajillion times during the whole jared thing.  obligatory emo blog post.  a blog is not a blog without an emo post.  better writing to a blog than a person, right?  my mom needs a blog.

keep working your magic on me so i don’t get distracted, like a kite that needs to be pulled on with a rope. then we can just charm each other but if we change our minds later we’ll just break one another’s heart, nothing wrong with that, gotta have some sauce in life to make it worth tasting.

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