two stories

i stumbled across two videos by the moth, this nonprofit dedicated to the art of storytelling… whatever that means.

i think both stories are epic and wonderful in their own ways.  and yes, gay related, but not, at the same time.

cindy chupack – till death or homosexuality do us part

“i think it was odd to people; they were like ‘is she the tenant?’ because i was losing it, grabbing kleenex from the mother.”

dan savage – not that kind of gay

“we knew at some point during our relationship we’d encounter discrimination.  i didn’t think it would be during our poodle’s medical crisis.  like you’d think they’d just cut you a fucking break on the poodle…. and who calls the vet trying to find secret confidential information about animals that aren’t theirs!?”

let’s see how many tangentially related things i can come up with about these videos

gay themed day.  overall, labor day was a very gay themed weekend.  castro, a date, going to fresh for the first time, finding these epic stories.  one of the highlights was meeting up with a friend from high school; we don’t really keep in touch, but she was in the area and looked me up.  i totally forgot this story, but she was relating it to me.  she was very straightedge and such, and i sat down and asked her “hey, what is something really controversial you believe in” (starting my tradition of asking those hard hitting questions), and she goes [loosely] “well… i honestly am really uncomfortable with homosexuality and don’t believe that it should be supported at [this high school].  they should control their urges and be more godly”.

so she’s telling me this story, and she goes “and then after i told you that, we started drifting!!  i had no idea why!!” anyway.  fast forward 8 years, and she just came out to her parents as bi.  so… that was a really nice full circle.  (and we swapped all the obligatory stories that only gay/queer people can swap.  sorry straight friends)

i felt this way seeing michael/susan as well; a lot happens in 3 years after college–serious relationships; career decisions; changing personalities and views.  and it’s difficult to explain, but it’s so cool hearing people’s stories, seeing how they’ve changed, seeing the situations that they’ve dealt with, and how they chose to act in difficult situations.  respecting them when you knew them, and still respecting and learning from them now.  that you can root for them.  especially michael.  he’s a very different person.  i guess it is just heartwarming to know that you can still care for people after so long and so much has happened.

anyway.  who knew that i would be writing on a (sort of) public blog and being open about my sexuality.

mediocrity.  is it bad that i was watching this, and i was really jealous of their storytelling skills (content; voice; timing).  and part of me was like “fuck, i really want to be selected by the moth to tell a story!”  (in the same vein that i would like to be published in thought catalog).  like i would rather be able to speak at the moth than at a ted talk.  is that bad?  the moth is certainly more attainable.  i think.

this is part of a general theme of “giving up on life”. like not in a suicidal way, but.  ugh.  okay, entry for another day.

pet cost. chris and i would sometimes talk about how much we’d be willing to pay for landers/doro benefits.  we never settled on a final number… but apparently chris has set up a pet fund trust account, more or less.

final image. that final image of the cindy chupack video is haunting and wonderful and poetic and heartwrenching.  “and so we just sat together on this bench, shoulder to shoulder, two women, alone, but not really alone, as the moving van lumbered over to the sidewalk.” incredible delivery.

“and it was maybe the nicest thing a father ever did, taking jerry hobbleman out to lunch.” i really touching moments that for some reason i always only associate with coming out stories, such as, “and then my mom hugged me and told me that she would love me no matter what” or something. just an odd, really touching moment of acceptance/help.  i do have to say that i had my gay “nicest thing my sister ever did” a couple months ago, when my sister got really offended for me when my cousin outed me to my family and said that she would have a talk with the cousin about it.

flow and continuity of cindy.  one other thing that i think that cindy did super well was her flow and transitions.  like dropping “jerry hobbleman”, and then bringing it full circle in the end.  or the “i meant it in the largest sense possible.” nice.  really great wordplay too; “couldn’t put together an outfit/put together my life”; “you get what you copay for”.

comedic timing.  dan savage had impeccable comic timing.  are you kidding me!?

going out on a limb/different angles.  overall, i thought the dan savage story didn’t really do a good job with the theme of the talk.  but i have definitely been there, where you need to look tough?  the hs girl who i met with described it as how we’re all diamonds and just need to show different sides of us.  anyway.  i greatly value being able to react in appropriate situations and take on the right persona.

masc/”straight acting”.  okay, honestly don’t really want to get into this, but it’s mentioned above, and it’s something that i have feelings about.  probably really trite, boring feelings, but they’re there.

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